Posted 2 days ago

engorged:

my parents drunkenly told me one night that i was conceived on the 7th hole of the country club we’re members at. i figured it was just a joke since i play golf, until i saw their initials and a date just about 9 months before my birthday carved into a tree next to the green. they were not kidding…

Posted 2 days ago
Posted 2 days ago

ultrafacts:

zombiekittensandmadscientists:

comoausente:

aperturedalek64:

ironicpeaches:

aperturedalek64:

cant-think-of-anything-creative:

ultrafacts:

SourceMore Facts HERE

no but imagine if you drank too much at a bar and then passes out on the floor and no-one could find your pulse so hours later you woke up in the ER or worse a morgue

Dude fake murders. Frame people. Scare the shit out of everyone. Pretend to be dead.

fail gym because you dont have a pulse for them to measure

CPR class: “can i have a volunteer?”

Halloween…be a zombie. Without a pulse. Hell yes.

… How could you possibly not have a pulse if blood were pulsing through your veins? I’m not a doctor but I think that has to be happening for you to live.

It’s because the blood flows continuously instead of in bursts.

It is called a ventricular assist device (VAD). It is used to replace the function of a failing heart  or for short term use, typically for patients recovering from heart attacks or heart surgery.

Posted 2 days ago
Posted 3 days ago

crazyress:

heyfunniest:

Someone took a candid photo of a fight in Ukranian Parliament that is as well-composed as the best renaissance art.

this is legitimately the best thing i’ve ever seen

Posted 3 days ago
marauders4evr:

leela-summers:

faerypotter:

i-m-a-good-viper:

I feel much better now…
Original gif it’s not mine

It’s like a Michael Gambon sized weight has been lifted from my chest. 

**All book readers nod in unison**

This is so satisfying.

marauders4evr:

leela-summers:

faerypotter:

i-m-a-good-viper:

I feel much better now…

Original gif it’s not mine

It’s like a Michael Gambon sized weight has been lifted from my chest. 

**All book readers nod in unison**

This is so satisfying.

Posted 3 days ago
Posted 3 days ago

unclefather:

borlax:

now this is what Im talkin about 

this is a weird cat

(Source: zoo.org.au)

Posted 3 days ago

solarsenpai:

generally:

im fuckin dying 

"all she wanted was to eat her chicken nuggets in peace…"

I am fucking screaming

Posted 3 days ago
chrissieakers:

fabled-foreigntongues:

secretobama:

cirk-urk:

That guy in the lower left corner in the crowd remembered every move 10 years later. 

is that ryan gosling 

thats fucking ryan gosling

It’s back

chrissieakers:

fabled-foreigntongues:

secretobama:

cirk-urk:

That guy in the lower left corner in the crowd remembered every move 10 years later. 

is that ryan gosling 

thats fucking ryan gosling

It’s back
Posted 3 days ago

mingion:

Catfish nowadays are so unprofessional, they can’t even keep the pictures consistent.

Posted 3 days ago

supremewhitegirl:

dendropsyche:

thenimbus:

bonbonbunny:

'What kind of overalls does Mario wear?'

image

Yep, I laughed out loud

I love the “oh no” like he fucking knows he’s going to hear a shitty ass joke

this is the stupidest fucking joke in the world but i laugh every fucking time without fail

(Source: youtube.com)

Posted 3 days ago

withalittlebitof-sass:

never-obey:

cassandrajp:

tarynel:

lastnightsmusings:

"i am not at all physically attracted to you"

is an absolutely valid reason to not want to date someone.

People had the nerve to call me shallow for this.

By the way, it’s also totally cool to turn someone down without explaining your reasons. You are not interested, no will suffice. Do not feel pressured to explain your decisions to someone else. 

image

this is so important.

(Source: redsuns-n-orangemoons)

Posted 3 days ago
Posted 3 days ago
skeletonhaver:


lanadelreiayanami:

skyyman:

M’lady

this is really terrifying

they’re growing. evolving.

skeletonhaver:

lanadelreiayanami:

skyyman:

M’lady

this is really terrifying

they’re growing. evolving.

(Source: primegifs)